Merry Christmas & Happy Anniversary!

Merry Christmas!!! This is one of my favorite holidays for 3 reasons!

(1) Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior was born (or at least we celebrate it during this season).

(2) I asked Santa for a husband, and first met my husband on Christmas day last year.

(3) Christmas day marks the anniversary of my first date with my husband and I've been with him ever since!

Today was just absolutely perfect in every way! I am so thankful! My house is decorated to perfection, my living room was overflowing with presents stacked up almost as tall as the tree! My parents came to visit and spent the night on Christmas Eve so we got to spend Christmas day together. My husband woke me up with kisses and bounced up and down like a anxious child ready to rip open his presents! It was adorable! I got up, cooked the entire family breakfast the way my mother traditionally does on Christmas morning. Everyone got up had coffee, tea, and breakfast. The we began passing presents around taking turns unwrapping everything while taking plenty of pictures of surprised and delighted expressions. The unwrapping took hours, there were so many presents!

My theme for my husband's presents was "Traveling in Style" since we will be exploring Europe and Asia after we move to Germany in a few months. I got him a sporty leather Coach wallet and matching carry-on duffle bag. He had an old Gucci wallet that was gifted to him a while ago that he always complained about how it was a waste, and it clearly suffered abuse from him since it was so dingy. I figured, out with the old and in with the new. Although Coach isn't nearly as expensive as some other top designers, I know that their products are handmade and durable. Even if he wears it out quickly, I won't cry when it's time to get new gear. My husband loves dressing sharp so I got him an argyle Tommy Hilfiger sweater and 1 ct princess cut diamond stud earrings. Definitely have to make sure my baby looks good during our travels! Can't forget the smell good! I wanted him to have a new signature scent as an anniversary gift that I personally would grow accustomed to and would find enticing. I gave him "Gentlemen Only" by Givenchy…which smells oh-so-sexy! I also gave him a capture card for his Xbox One, which he hasn't put down since I gave it to him LOL!

I definitely got spoiled this year. My mother gave me a lifetime supply of leggings and tights, which I wear religiously this time of the year. My parents gave me a Keurig coffee maker and a ton of different coffees, teas, hot chocolates, and apple cider to go with it! My husband gave me everything that I wanted. I opened up pink striped boxes of Victoria's Secrets goodies galore - panties, hoodies, and yoga pants! I now have a lifetime supply of bath & body works hand lotions and hand sanitizers, which I will go through in about three months! I'm in love with Coach sneakers…my husband knows me all too well and hooked me up with two new pairs! For my anniversary gift he gave me what every good wife deserves, diamonds and pearls!

After the entire family went into a food/present coma. My parents eventually packed their things and headed home after a long day of excitement. My husband and I got dressed to retrace our steps from our first date in DC on Christmas Day in 2012 to celebrate our 1 year anniversary of being together. We dined at Rosa Mexicano where this love story started 1 year ago today and even enjoyed the same meal we shared on that day. We reminisced about the events of the passing year and even shared our memories from that first date, like what we talked about and what we were wearing. I told my husband that I was quite surprised that he wanted to marry me. He fell in love with me quickly and his love took me by whirlwind when I least expected to even be in a romance. We've had our ups and downs, and I think our relationship continues to surprise people and inspire others. I wouldn't change a thing, because no fairytale was ever perfect, but there was always a happy ending!

Until Next Time…
Love ViVi

Everyday Can't Be Sunny

I was in a downward spiral today. My morning started off with my husband showering me with affection, which is the best way to start one's day, but then I tripped a wire that led to a troubling chain of events. Some people may find me relentlessly insensitive when I have an emotional wound that is healing. Even though I may outwardly be enjoying myself and in high spirits, thoughts relating to that wound constantly play on repeat on the back of my mind. I can't help it, it's almost like a defense mechanism to counter the human tendency to want to forget painful things that happen to us because civility and laughter is a lot easier to deal with than facing problems head on. In my experience avoiding problems is detrimental to my relationship with my husband. He is quite comfortable in his habits, both the benevolent and the not-so-nice ones. He is at his best in an environment of consistency. Consistent positive recognition, rewarding, and appreciation of his good deeds. Consistent and constructive zero tolerance of his not-so-nice ones, which are quite infrequent, but still seeds that do not need to be sown in any marriage I'm a part of.

I'll be the first to admit that his trespass against me that inflicted the unseen wound is minor in the grand scheme of things. It could be worse, but in any healthy relationship your partner should not want to hurt you in any degree. This is where communication is key because many times we as people hurt one another without realizing that our actions are hurtful. I've already fired my warning shot, but sometimes my anger boils up and I can become a loose canon. It always catches him by surprise how quickly my mood can change and he is not a patient person. So our rift today is centered around my inability at the moment to forgive him and his poor patience with my healing process (which all in all he'll just have to suck it up and deal with it, but it's not fun.) He's always been very forgiving with me, and moves forward very easily. I on the other hand dwell on problems and linger on their issues. I'm a more cautious creature and extremely protective of my feelings. Like my scientific career, I keep a mental catalog of the experiences I have with people and although they may cease to be spoken about in current daily activities, they are never erased or obliterated. People always say you should forgive and forget, but for me forgiveness is difficult and forgetting is near impossible.

The good thing is that my husband and I rarely argue, but like any normal couple we have our ugly moments. My house is so big that it is easy to avoid him and feel completely alone when I need my space. I was content leaving the tension between us like a lingering stifling stench in the house. Eventually the silence began the smolder me so I left abruptly to run last minute holiday errands. Then our silence began to starve my ego. I have every right to be angry, but two wrongs don't make a right. I've been married for 4 months and I've learned that it's not about being right because we are on the same team. My husband tried to scurry past on a bathroom run, but I decided to break the silence, which stopped him in his tracks. After a few moments of actually talking about our feelings and the situation we both realized that most of our day wasted in silence, passive aggression, negativity, and anger when simple communication was the medication we needed.

It's Christmas Eve and we both are hosting a party at our home tonight in a few hours. We are absolutely not ready to entertain any guests at the moment. My husband is eager to help me clean up and get the ingredients we need for our holiday cocktails so I'm sure this night will be full of holiday cheer and a memorable one indeed! I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and if you have any advice or stories you'd like to share on conflict and forgiveness in marriage, please leave it in the comments!

Until Next Time!

Love ViVi

Presents Galore!

Last night I went Christmas shopping! I know I've procrastinated terribly, but with all of the late nights and long shifts I've been working at the hospital, it's hard to get to the mall. I bought so much stuff last night my arms hurt from lugging the bags around in the mall! I feel so incredibly blessed though because my husband and I are able to have a bountiful Christmas this year! Since my husband and I will be traveling all over Europe next year with our relocation to Germany, the theme of my Christmas presents is "Traveling in Style". Of course I also had to get him a few techie gifts too that I know he'll absolutely adore as well. I can't wait to see all the looks on my loved one's faces when they open their presents!

This year I mostly focused on buying presents for my husband, and my parents. I have less friends this year than I did last year, which I find to be more of a personal preference than anything else. Sometimes you have to do some cleansing of your social circle, especially when it harbors relationships that are toxic or parasitic. I had so called "friends" who were jealous that I was getting married and that they were still single. The nonsense was overwhelming, but it opened my eyes up to red flags I had been ignoring in these friendships for quite some time. I had friends who were taking advantage of my kindness and hard work, always asking for help but never being appreciative. I even had one friend who wanted to bring a guy I used to date as her date to my wedding. The underlying motives in all of that was all too obvious, so of course I avoided all of that drama.

Now my life is quiet, blissful, and peaceful. I'm looking forward to creating new memories with my newlywed hubby and starting a family of our own. Life couldn't be anymore perfect. I've matured so much and my values have shifted towards a focus on family and love. This time last year, I would've never imagined my life would be this amazing today! Wonder what Santa will bring me this Christmas...

Until next time...

Love ViVi

Magical Moments

Every weekend my husband and I have a date night where we get out of the house and spend quality time together.  Sunday evening we decided to try a new restaurant that we always drive past called Bleue's Bistro. From the outside the place looks very eccentric and classy, so one would assume that the menu was exorbitantly expensive for small portions.  I was clearly wrong in my assumption!  Surprisingly they served Caribbean and South American dishes, which was right up our alley since my husband is from Trinidad. We both ordered the Peruvian chicken and were delighted with everything right down to the garden salad!  The Peruvian chicken tasted better than any I've ever eaten at those small Peruvian chicken chain restaurants, and the full course meal was surprisingly inexpensive.

As my husband and I were enjoying the Christmas ambiance of this gorgeous restaurant and our conversation, the waiter informs us that our dinner was on the house because another customer paid our bill. We were shocked that someone would do a random act of kindness like this.  The waiter explained that the elderly man sitting behind us had a similar experience where someone had randomly taken care of his bill at another restaurant and that he wanted to pay it forward.  Feeling incredibly blessed and impressed that there are still wonderful and kind people in the world, we both thanked the man for his generosity.  It made our night even more perfect than it already had been!  We'll definitely have to pay this act of kindness forward as well.

In other news...I just put up our Christmas tree!  Of course I have to be different, we have a purple Christmas tree this year.  I also put up the other holiday decorations, placing Santa Claus & Snowman dolls and figurines throughout the house.  It was quite fun decorating with holiday music blaring in the background.  My parents dropped my dogs off for a visit while they are out of town, so the puppies ran around as if they were dancing to the holiday tunes as well!  My husband seems to be delighted with the new found holiday cheer in our new home.  We recently moved into this spacious 4 bedroom, 2 full bath single family home with a large eat in kitchen, huge master bedroom, and a lovely fenced in backyard.  It sort of took the wind out of our sails to learn shortly after moving into our amazing starter home that we'd have to turn around a pack up for Germany, but I think the holiday decorations make it feel more like home and allow us to enjoy this blessing while we're here.

So my husband and I decided that we're going to throw a Christmas Eve party in our new house this year.  Everyone was so excited here that we finally found a nice home, so we might as well show it off while we can! I also had got to thinking that there may be soldiers who don't have any family in the area and may end up spending the holidays alone, so I told my husband to extend an invitation to his friends and coworkers because no one should have to be alone during the holidays.  Many of my friends have already RSVP'ed so I will have to get busy putting together my dinner menu and finding holiday cocktail recipes!  I also need to buy mistletoe to hang around the house too!  This is definitely the season for love...which you may find in the most unexpected places.

Until Next Time...

Love, ViVi

Taking the Plunge into Motherhood...

Lately I have been contemplating motherhood. I'm 27 years old and have managed to escape being a single mom prior to getting married this year. I don't think I deserve a medal or anything for not hurling a child into a broken home from day one, but I do think it was a responsible decision that I've made. There have been so many perks to living a childless life thus far while my friends reared their children in their early twenties under a differing variety of circumstances. I have been able to focus on my education and was able to get my Master's degree with honors all the while with little distraction. I have also been able to focus on my career and now I have a fulfilling career as a cancer research scientist at one of the most renowned hospitals in the United States. I've even been able to freely travel quite vigorously over the years. I vacationed in 7 different countries this year alone, all comfortably on my own dime without a worry in the world.

My husband is 30 years old and I think his biological clock may be ticking. Children love him and polarize towards him. Other people's children for the most part give me anxiety, especially if they are unruly. I would imagine my sentiments towards my own children would be very different, but all in all I still enjoy children. Kids are hilarious in their antics, reasoning, and relationships with others. I admire how clearly some children can see the world in which adults never fail to complicate. The real question is, am I ready to disrupt my lazy, self-centered tranquility and replace it with the responsibility to selflessly tend to the needs of a small person who needs my attention and depends on it? I honestly don't think any first time parents is ever ready even when planning their family. Children are expensive, and although its easy to say you know and understand that, there is nothing like a rude awakening that occurs in your bank account!

Then sometimes I sit back and think about all of the sacrifices my mother made for me, and even though I was a pain in the ass, I brought her so much joy, and continue to do so. I want that. Like myself, my mother waited later in life to have a child. She was 30, and although I can't imagine pushing off pregnancy for another 3 years, I think she can relate to me and the challenges I may face as a first time mother. My mother was much like how I am today. She was married, college educated, settled into her career, and financially stable when I got hurled into the mix. I wonder if there were any times she wanted to leave me on someone else's doorstep? I doubt she'd admit it!

One thing I love is watching my husband with children and babies. He coaches an elementary school basketball team and absolutely lights up around the lil rascals! I want to give him that light at home. When I'm in a daze my mind often muses with how our children will look. They will have a lovely sun kissed butter brown skin complexion, with big dark brown eyes, soft curly hair, and fat chubby cheeks that will slender as they grow older. Our children will definitely be tall (my husband is 6'4" and I'm 5'8"!) and thin. I wonder who's personality they will get? Will they be quiet and solitary like my husband, or social busy bodies like me? All the possibilities are exciting! What I'm most excited about is that my first child will be able to be raised bilingual with a dual American and German citizenship. It'll be more exciting for me since their early years spent abroad will mostly likely be forgotten when he or she gets older, but there are always pictures and home videos! I think the change of pace in life that motherhood brings will be good for the both of us.

Until Next Time…
Love ViVi

New Beginnings

It's getting colder…but those are just the seasons changing. The seasons are mother nature's rhythms of life, like how your chest rises and falls as your breathe. Normally I dread the cold, but now I'm excited for this cozier weather because it means my newly wed husband and I have to snuggle just a little closer at night. It's definitely an interesting change of pace for me. I had become so accustomed to single life with fleeting lover's flings. I was comfortable in my solitude even while hoping and wishing to find the one for me. I had no idea that during one of the coldest darkest months of my life where my heart had been unexpectedly robbed last year that I'd meet the man I was fated to marry. My husband and I first met on Christmas day, so it's a holiday filled with magic and destiny for us.  This Christmas will be the 1 year anniversary to the day we met…crazy I know, we've been married for 3 months already and haven't even known each other for a year. Some cultures believe if you spend Christmas with your crush, your red strings of fate will become intertwined. Perhaps that is what happened, and became the beginning of our life journey together...

This time next year my husband and I will be strolling the streets of Paris all lit up with holiday spirits! It's one of the advantages of being an army wife. I get to see the world, and quite inexpensively! I am preparing for my voyage to Germany, where I will live in a quiet town tucked away in the mountains near the German-Italian border for 3 years.  I am excited and nervous at the same time. I have never been so far away from my family before, but I feel comfort in knowing that my husband - my best friend, my partner in mischief & adventure, is going to be there with me.  It'll be a spectacular time for exploration and a romantic adventure of sorts.  I couldn't imagine anyone else I'd rather travel the world with!

I'll be leaving my cancer research job to become an adventurous traveling housewife. I'm looking forward to sneaking across the border to Italy to buy gifts from my favorite designers! I think my life in Germany will be a great opportunity for me to learn a new language, make new friends, and try things that many people will never get to experience.  Of course I must stay productive - it's my personality to always be busy and working on something that is positive for the future.  I will have plenty of time to focus on growing my fashion-for-charity nonprofit organization and expanding it internationally.  I'm looking forward to coordinating charity fashion events in London, Paris, Rome, and so many more iconic cities in Europe.  I study German everyday so when my husband and I first arrive, we can communicate decently with the locals and navigate our way around.  We're also planning on starting our family in Germany, which is exciting because it'll be a new experience for the both of us since neither of us have any children already!  I'm excited to paint and decorate a small nursery for our new little addition as well as embrace the joys of motherhood. Married life is blissful and certainly an adventure.  Everyday we discover something new about each other, so daily life has unexpected surprises much like our travels.

Until next time…

Love ViVi